I was 19 when I met my first spiritual mentor and connected with a group of spiritual seekers.
I was so excited to find a “home” of like minded people.
I threw caution to the wind and embraced my tribe with
open heart and arms.
I say caution because I grew up being taught to not trust,
not share your heart, the world is not safe.
I was young and naive, I decided to believe that because they were “spiritual” they were safe for me to be fully myself.
My mentor saw this and told me to be careful,
warning me to be careful of the snakes and wolves masquerading as true seekers.
I thought she was a crazy old (55 at the time) woman and dismissed her cautions.
She also told me that now that I was on the path, my lessons will come at me faster and harder than a non seeker.
Again I dismissed that as fear mongering. After all, I grew up in a way that had me believing I could see the fake and manipulative a mile away.
I was good.
I was younger than the rest of the group by at least 10 years, I was attractive and very psychic.
I did not see myself as any of those things.
It took me 3 years of full immersion into feeling safe before the bottom dropped out of her. (or hell in a handbasket as the saying goes)
I discovered one of my female “friends” in the group had been systematically destroying my character behind the scenes. The worst part was that the others believed her lies.
I was devastated and left the group. It only took a few months for the truth to start to reveal itself but the damage had been done.
I realized my mentor, who passed away a year earlier had been right. There is a difference between “acting” spiritual vs being.
My trust in myself and “spiritual” people had been destroyed.
Ultimately it was my core faith in a Higher Purpose that pushed me to get back up and try again.
Hugs & Laughter,